By Dan Moren

April 28, 2023 2:18 PM PT

The Back Page: The many moods of Tim Cook

We here at Six Colors don’t get a lot of scoops—simply put, it’s not what we do. Sure, we hear rumors from time to time, and sometimes even a little birdie or two crosses our path with an interesting tidbit, but they generally don’t rise to the level of an entire story.

However, on rare occasion, just such a nugget does come to our attention, and it’s simply too good to pass up. Which is why we can exclusively report upon a recent development inside Apple that changes the very way the company handles its internal projects.

Tim Cook is, obviously, a very difficult man to read. He’s buttoned-down. He plays his cards¹ close to his chest. On which he wears a button-down. That can be quite a challenge for the Apple executives who want to sell him on a particular project they’re working on: how best to gauge whether or not Tim is receptive to a specific idea?

To that end, Six Colors has heard of a new rubric born amongst the echelons of Apple’s high-level managers, designed to streamline interactions with the CEO—efficiency being, of course, something very near and dear to Tim’s own heart. In a testament to just how efficient it is, we hear this scale has been dubbed the “Tim Intuition Matrix” or…TIM.

What does the TIM scale represent? Simple: it provides a convenient shorthand for expressing how excited Tim is about a particular project, using his reactions from previous situations where his attitude can be clearly discerned.

TIM is composed of five discrete levels; here they are, from worst to best.

Tim Apple: The lowest score on the TIM scale. Tim is actively displeased about your product and/or may be sick all over your keynote presentation. If you had to pick an emoji, it’s a ☹️. It’s the face of someone who would rather be anywhere else, even if anywhere else was a trash compactor. And that’s saying something, because not only is a trash compactor going to slowly and painfully crush you to death, but it’s also going to smell real bad. There’s just no upside.

F1: Tim Cook is seriously considering whether or not your project may have merit. But he may also be planning to drop you in a tank full of sharks.² (The TIM scale is not infallible!) It’s the 😐 face of someone who is concentrating very hard on the task at hand, because they want to be seen to be taking it seriously but also apparently could not care less. Basically it’s going to go one of two ways: your project will be grudgingly approved or you will be asked why you haven’t already left for China yet.

Goooooood mornnnnnning: Tim Cook is relatively optimistic about your project, and it might actually make it to fruition—but nothing is guaranteed. This is your standard 🙂 face of the CEO of the world’s most valuable company, who is giving you a stay of execution for one more day because you have brought in an idea just good enough to merit keeping you around. Maybe it will even make it into a keynote.

SE: Have you ever seen Tim Cook excited? Not often, right? This is the face that Tim reserves for things that he is truly excited about, like augmented reality or a Macintosh SE. This is the 😆 face that you hope to see; it means your project is golden and Tim may even remember your name the next time he sees you. (Again, no promises.)

Finger touch: I mean…it’s good…I guess? I don’t think you really want it, though. The good news is that whatever you’re trying to pitch to Cook is now instantly on every Apple device everywhere and nobody can ever get rid of it. The bad news is that Tim has added you to his contacts, which means he may call you when he wakes up at 4 a.m., and when Tim wakes up, he is chatty. Do I need an emoji for this? Let’s call it 🤪.

Sources tell this reporter that the TIM scale has already proven to be a winner for Apple executives across the organization, although it does have the added side effect that people keep showing up to meetings with Cook toting vintage Macs. However, one executive brought an eMate and was promptly ejected onto Tantau Avenue, so your mileage may vary. Just remember the next time you see Tim Cook, he is silently judging you. Always.

[Dan Moren is the East Coast Bureau Chief of Six Colors, as well as an author, podcaster, and two-time Jeopardy! champion. You can find him on Mastodon at @dmoren@zeppelin.flights or reach him by email at dan@sixcolors.com. His next novel, the sci-fi adventure Eternity's Tomb, will be released in November 2026.]