By Dan Moren

June 30, 2023 2:47 PM PT

The Back Page: Hot beta summer

Kick back, relax, and grab a drink with a little umbrella in it because the summer of betas has arrived. iOS, macOS, iPadOS, watchOS, tvOS, there’s a beta for you, a beta for you, a beta for everyone!¹

Look, yes, everybody will tell you not to put betas on your devices. They say it’s to protect you, but we all know it’s just because they want to keep all of that beta hotness for themselves.

Who cares about them, whoever they are? Your phone is your castle, and you should be able to install whatever leaky, drafty software on it that you want. Come on in, the water’s fine! Even if it is in a moat! Did I mix my metaphors too much? Who cares! HOT BETA SUMMER!

To be fair, I shouldn’t be too cavalier about just diving into untested software willy-nilly. It is important, after all, to practice safe beta software installation. Most critically, you should always be sure to make a backup of your existing device. For iPhones and iPads, you can do that by connecting it to a Mac, choosing Back Up in the Finder, archiving that backup, choosing a strong password for encryption that you then write on a small slip on paper and give to the most trusted bird in your backyard. Don’t tell us which one!

Once you’ve taken the necessary precautions, it’s time for the main event. Because the attraction of betas, of course, is the slew of new features they bring. Never mind that they’re unreliable, prone to crashes, and eat your battery faster than a termite let loose in an antique furniture store. That’s part of the fun.

Just imagine being able to exchange your fancy new contact card with…other people who are on the betas, I guess. But at least you can finally share your iCloud Keychain passwords with…uh, there must be someone on the beta that you don’t mind having your passwords. Well, at least you can add stickers as a reaction to any messag—wait, that’s not even in there yet?

How about that improved autocorrect? Not a single duck in sight!

Of course, hot beta summer isn’t just about fun; it’s also about being productive. That means reporting a bug whenever you encounter one, using Apple’s very friendly system. Just launch the Feedback app on your device, make a small incision on your hand, and drip six and a half drops of blood onto the screen while whispering the sacred words: “in Craig confidimus.” Will your prayers to Apple be answered? It is ever uncertain! Pretty much the same odds as any other prayers!

But ultimately, all of your pain and suffering will have been worth it. Fall will roll around, and all your friends and loved ones will be installing the software you’ve had on your devices for months. Think of all the hard work you’ve done for them, making sure the experience is as smooth and bug-free as possible. Thank heavens you don’t have to go through that again.

…iOS 17.1, you say?

[Dan Moren is the East Coast Bureau Chief of Six Colors, as well as an author, podcaster, and two-time Jeopardy! champion. You can find him on Mastodon at @dmoren@zeppelin.flights or reach him by email at dan@sixcolors.com. His next novel, the sci-fi adventure Eternity's Tomb, will be released in November 2026.]