By John Moltz
July 21, 2023 2:00 PM PT
This Week in Apple: Take my word for it
Two sketchy reports were heaved over the transom this week, one about Apple Maps and the other about AI. But what’s even more sketchy is the British government’s excuses for making communications apps less secure.
Back on the Maps
Cast your mind back to 2012. Barack Obama was running for a second term in office, phablets were all the rage, and music lovers across the world were devastated by the discontinuation of iTunes Ping.
I may have embellished one of those.
At the same time, after a disagreement with Google over access to user data, Apple released Apple Maps to wide acclaim and haha no, someone actually kinda sorta got fired over the whole thing.
People hated Apple Maps!
Well, times change.
“People Have Begun to Love Apple’s Most Hated Product”
The Wall Street Journal’s report claiming newfound love for Apple Maps seems to be based largely on anecdotal evidence, and the article does admit:
While Apple Maps comes preinstalled on all iPhones, the overwhelming majority of iPhones in the U.S. have Google Maps downloaded as an alternative, according to Canalys.
So, it remains to be known exactly how much people love Apple Maps now. It’s definitely not as despised as it was when it was released, but it often only takes one wrong left turn at Albuquerque for you to get mad at a maps app. The best camera may be the one you have with you, but the best map app is the one that gets you where you’re going.
Artificial rumor intelligence
Breaking news on the AI front! Bloomberg reports that Apple is in the game!
“Apple Tests ‘Apple GPT,’ Develops Generative AI Tools to Catch OpenAI”
What a game-changer! Buy, buy, buy!
But is it?
Apple does a lot of stuff. Somewhere inside Apple Park there’s probably an Xserve that makes waffles. I bet it’s like The Island of Dr. Moreau in there. Just because they’re working on a thing doesn’t mean it’s going to become a product.
As Jason has noted, this rumor that makes it looks like Apple is totally in the AI game is awfully convenient for… Apple. Bloomberg’s piece is caveat-ariffic:
Apple is still trying to determine the consumer angle for generative AI…
Noted consumer technology company Apple doesn’t have a “consumer angle” for it, but it’s definitely a thing!
And:
…the company doesn’t yet have a concrete plan…
Apple’s pretty meticulous about planning. Have your AI call my AI when its plans firm up a bit.
Won’t someone think of the children?!
Bad news if you’re across the pond: it looks like your legislators are cooking up a heaping serving of hot garbage disguised as “online safety”. And Apple is not impressed.
“Apple slams UK surveillance-bill proposals”
[The government] wants messaging services to clear security features with the Home Office before releasing them to customers.
The act lets the Home Office demand security features are disabled, without telling the public.
Oh, cool. Cool, cool, cool. (Disclaimer: not actually cool.)
Apple says it will remove services such as FaceTime and iMessage from the UK rather than weaken security if new proposals are made law and acted upon.
It is, of course, not just Apple slamming this legislation. WhatsApp and Signal have done the same, with Signal saying it will leave the market if the bill passes. But two things sell—Apple and sex—so Apple gets the headline. Because presumably no one is having sex with this bill. Probably because of what’s in it, which is all kinds of assaults on protected communication.
Apple said:
It would not make changes to security features specifically for one country that would weaken a product for all users.
Of course, the government maintains that this is all being done to protect people from some very scary things.
The Home Office told the BBC that the Investigatory Powers Act was designed to “protect the public from criminals, child sex abusers and terrorists”.
You wouldn’t FaceTime a terrorist, would you? You wouldn’t iMessage a child sex abuser, WOULD YOU? WOULD YOU AIRDROP A CRIMINAL?! I’LL REMIND YOU YOU’RE UNDER OATH!
Look, I barely know how the U.S. legislative system works and what little I do know is thanks to Schoolhouse Rock!, so I have no idea how things work in the UK, but if you live there and there’s someone you can call, you might want to get on that.
[John Moltz is a Six Colors contributor. You can find him on Mastodon at Mastodon.social/@moltz and he sells items with references you might get on Cotton Bureau.]