By John Moltz

September 15, 2023 2:00 PM PT

This Week in Apple: Always leave them wanting more

Happy new iPhones to all who celebrate! The rumor mill had some hits and misses as usual, but did anyone have “Tim Cook acting” on their bingo card? Hope you enjoyed the event because that’s probably it for the rest of the year.

Milling about

Another Apple iPhone introduction has come and gone, so let’s take a quick look at how the rumor mill did this time around.

Incorrect rumors included the company shipping color-coordinated cords with iPhone. It’s quite possible Apple decided that shipping cords in slightly different shades of gray for the iPhone Pro was a waste of time. Or, when it came time to put them in the boxes, they couldn’t tell natural from white, either. Anyway, good luck figuring out that ongoing tangled mess of white cords in your drawer. Another misinformed rumor was the Apple Watch Ultra shipping black Titanium. Not this time.

Still, some rumors turned out to be correct. FineWoven was the name for Apple’s new iPhone case material, the iPhone colors would be nothing to write home about (if smartphone colors were ever a thing that would cause you to pen a missive), all the devices would switch to USB-C, and the Pro models would feature an Action Button.

Still others get partial credit. The company also didn’t switch the name of the iPhone Pro Max to “iPhone Ultra”, although that rumor was walked back in the days leading up to the keynote and could happen next year.

While the iPhone Pro Max’s price didn’t increase, the price points changed. You can no longer get an iPhone Pro Max for $1099 because Apple doesn’t sell a 128GB model anymore, but the 256GB iPhone Pro Max is still the same $1199. In fact, not only is it not more expensive, it’s technically less expensive because of inflation (via Daring Fireball). The company just removed some of that pesky choice.

What can we learn from these hits and misses? Probably something, but if history is any lesson we will abjectly refuse to take any lesson from it at all.

No longer into leather

Apple spent much of Tuesday’s keynote patting itself on the back for its admittedly lengthy list of environmental accomplishments. The company even hired actress Octavia Spencer to appear as Mother Nature in a skit. Aren’t they cute?

Now, you may not have thought the skit was “appropriate” for the event or “funny” enough or “short” enough, but you have to admit that Tim Cook was completely believable as the CEO of the richest company ever. He’s quite the method actor. The guy toiled away as CEO of Apple for 12 years just to prepare for this role. That’s commitment.

Apple also announced that it would no longer sell leather accessories for its products. Cows are notoriously bad for the environment because of their need for large swaths of grassland and their, well, emissions. Cows are the worst, really, after humans. This move is kind of annoying, though, because we burger eaters could always say “Well, they’re going to kill the cows for leather anyway.” Leather wearers could likewise point to burger eaters. And, of course, those were always the same people. Rationalization is a hell of a drug.

I am sad to report, however, that Apple’s lengthy presentation on its sparkling environmental record went on for so long that the combined energy used to watch it put the company back in the red. Very unfortunate. Better luck next year, Apple.

Next season on “Apple”…

This week’s event was fun and all, but what has Apple done for us lately? The iPhone 15 is so earlier this week. Or 5 AM this morning. When will we get something new?!

Well, it might be a while before we get much. Current reports indicated that, contrary to prior rumors, Apple will not be shipping an M3-based MacBook Air this year.

While Mark Gurman said an October event was unlikely but that Apple could update the iPad via press release instead, Ming-Chi Kuo thinks new iPads won’t come until 2024. Sound of a balloon deflating if true. That would mean there’s no more new hardware for the rest of the year.

Perhaps this is the year I’ll finally learn how to hibernate.

[John Moltz is a Six Colors contributor. You can find him on Mastodon at Mastodon.social/@moltz and he sells items with references you might get on Cotton Bureau.]