By John Moltz

December 15, 2023 2:00 PM PT

This Week in Apple: Like tears in rain

GM’s new software system better be a doozy after how it’s trash talked CarPlay. Apple beta tests a new set of security features for iPhones and you should be pre-warned that crying inside your Vision Pro may void the warranty.

Pull the other one

As you may recall, GM famously announced several month ago that it was ditching CarPlay, making the contention that it would build its own in-car entertainment and navigation system and it’d be better than CarPlay. Possibly it would have lasers and stuff. They were vague on the details.

But now GM says the reason it kicked CarPlay to the curb was as a—please make sure your mouth is devoid of liquids before continuing to read this sentence—safety feature.

“GM Says It’s Ditching Apple CarPlay and Android Auto for Your Safety”

That’s not how this works dot gif. That’s not how any of this works dot gif.

[ GM head of product for infotainment Tim Babbitt ] cited driver distraction caused by cell phone usage behind the wheel.

First of all, if you see a “head of product for infotainment” you know they blew it. Second, this all sounds an awful lot like putting the spin after the horse.

[headslap] “Oh, man! You know what we should have said?!”

Third, Babbitt’s contention that CarPlay and Android Auto have “stability issues” that make them distracting notwithstanding, all this is gonna do is drive people back to looking at their phones. The whole point of systems like CarPlay and Android Auto is to keep people from looking at their phones. While they may not always be perfect, they are way better than driving while looking down at your hands.

Ford CEO Jim Farley (who does not think much of GM) seems to agree:

“We’re committed to keeping Apple CarPlay & Android Auto. Ford customers love the features because they help keep their eyes on the road and hands on the wheel,” Farley said.

The one thing that may be true about all of this is that you can be sure whatever system GM comes up with will be dull and uninspired, making no one want to look at it or admit it even is running on their car’s screen.

Security is not just a Peter Gabriel album

Apple seeded the first beta of iOS 17.3 this week, which includes a surprise security feature.

“Apple Makes Security Changes to Protect Users From iPhone Thefts”

This change is designed to address the rumpus, the hullabaloo, and rending of many a garment that occurred earlier this year when The Wall Street Journal reported that someone is standing behind you right now watching you type in your passcode. The new system requires Face ID to unlock your saved passwords and adds a security delay to change settings such as your Apple ID password, unless you are at a familiar location such as your home.

I look forward to the upcoming report that the thefts are coming from inside the house.

Relive your richest memories

You know how when a rumor says that an Apple product is coming out later than other rumors said it was coming and thus said product is dubbed “delayed”? Well, what happens when it comes out earlier?

Reports just weeks ago indicated the Vision Pro would not ship until around March, but now it seems it might even arrive in time for the Lunar New Year.

“Apple Vision Pro launch expected as soon as January”

This is great, because I love a good cry.

“Reliving My Memories in Apple Vision Pro Almost Brought Me to Tears”

After previously only demoing professionally produced 3D videos, such as the movie “Avatar: The Way of Water”, Apple recently allowed journalists to view their own spatial videos on the Vision Pro. James Cameron could not be reached for comment on why journalists would not be likewise moved when that one blue person did the thing with the—no, I actually haven’t seen “Avatar: The Way of Water”.

Come February, expect a lot more crying when people look at their emptied bank accounts through the Vision Pro. They will be just that moved.

[John Moltz is a Six Colors contributor. You can find him on Mastodon at Mastodon.social/@moltz and he sells items with references you might get on Cotton Bureau.]