By John Moltz
March 22, 2024 2:00 PM PT
This Week in Apple: The bill comes due
Anything happen this week? First, let’s hop in a golf cart to ask some Apple executives. Then we can read an 88-page PDF. We’ll finish by throwing our Apple silicon Macs into the ocean.
At least as exciting as watching golf itself
Spring can be a time when you feel as though you’re going through Apple keynote withdrawal. Fortunately, Brian Tong has you covered with this video ride-along with a number of Apple executives you may recognize. There’s Joz and Kaiann and Anand and so many more! It’s got more stars than a 1979 ABC “Still The One!” promo.
No one lets the beans spill on future products or features, but they do ride around and around the Apple campus a lot and wax poetic about the company’s products. You’ll hear about cameras and spatial memories and just all the awesomeness that’s going on at Apple Park and how awesome it is.
Sadly, Apple’s “Look how much we love making things!” shirt is still probably not doing enough to distract everyone from its government-mandated “ANTITRUST ACTION TARGET” jumpsuit.
PDF-you
From the government that brought you the lawsuit over Apple’s anticompetitive practices in book sales that we were all clamoring for (CITATION NEEDED), it’s the big-budget sequel!
RESPAWN OF JUSTICE: 2 Fast 2 Spurious
Jason has a first reaction that hits the highs and lows of the government’s complaint, delivered via PDF as is the style of the genre. I would say the complaint reads a little like a rushed freshman term paper except they never get to the “Webster’s defines ‘monopoly’ as…” part.
The DoJ might need some physical therapy after the contortions it went through to pat itself on the back for Apple’s successes over the last 20 years.
When Apple began developing mobile consumer devices, it did so against the backdrop of United States v. Microsoft, which created new opportunities for innovation in areas that would become critical to the success of Apple’s consumer devices and the company itself.
“Hi, this is the Department of Justice! You might remember us from such hits as the breaking up of Standard Oil, Bell Systems, and American Tobacco Company. And, of course, making Apple what it is today.”
Uhhh, what was that last one again?
Despite not being above marketing itself in its own legal complaint, the DoJ apparently doesn’t like it when Apple touts the benefits of its platforms.
…[Apple] spends billions on marketing and branding to promote the self-serving premise that only Apple can safeguard consumers’ privacy and security interests.
Apple spends money to promote itself as better than its competitors?! Well, now I’ve heard everything.
It’s like the DoJ snuck downstairs at night to get some milk and cookies and opened the door to find mommy and daddy DOING CAPITALISM.
The complaint is a real mixed bag that will have you nodding your head at some points and scratching it at others. You want a more open App Store with less onerous fees for developers and better choices for customers? That’s in there! What’s also in there are complaints that could lead to less secure payment processing so our beloved banks have more options and suggestions that CarPlay is somehow anticompetitive.
Sir, this is GM Utilifi erasure and I won’t stand for it.
Ultimately, Apple did little to nothing to stave off this action. It could have implemented RCS earlier, it could have allowed other payment options for developers, it could have reduced the percentage it took, it could have done 100 other things to make it clear that the real reason people buy iPhones is not because of lock-in but because they’re better. They chose not to do that.
Baaad morrrning!
As if Apple’s week couldn’t get worse.
“Unpatchable vulnerability in Apple chip leaks secret encryption keys”
This vulnerability is present in all three of Apple’s M-series processor lines, although the M3 allows the option to turn off the flawed portion at the cost of performance. The researchers claim it may not be that noticeable for everyday uses and, honestly, at the rate I work I probably wouldn’t ever notice it.
Well. Maybe next week will be better, Apple.
[John Moltz is a Six Colors contributor. You can find him on Mastodon at Mastodon.social/@moltz and he sells items with references you might get on Cotton Bureau.]