By John Moltz
April 26, 2024 11:38 AM PT
This Week in Apple: Imitation is the highest form of fatuity
Sound the klaxons, because Apple’s sales are down! Sales of Finewoven cases may soon go to zero altogether, but at least we’ll have a lot of Pencil options.
Apple’s doing bad!
How can this be?! Just a little while ago they were on top of the world!
“iPhone Sales in China Dropped Significantly in Q1 2024”
OK. OK. So, that’s China. But, surely, Apple’s doing well in the U.S.?
“iPhone activation market share hits new low as Android dominates”:
The latest data shows a notable drop over the last year bringing Apple’s US smartphone market share of new activations back in time six years.
Well, maybe people are buying new iPhones and just not activating them. That’s probably it.
Anyway, Apple has new products out that are surely—
“Apple Vision Pro Customer Interest Dying Down at Some Retail Stores”
Oh, come on!
“Apple Cuts Vision Pro Shipments As Demand Falls ‘Sharply Beyond Expectations’”
Low Vision Pro demand makes no sense because last year I didn’t know anyone who had a Vision Pro and this year I know several. So, go back and check your maths.
While Apple sales may have dropped off, they’ve dropped off from pretty big highs. Also, there’s still one thing Apple will always be first at: being ripped off by its competitors.
“Huawei’s next smartwatch looks like a blatant Apple Watch ripoff”
The day Apple’s competitors stop dutifully copying the company’s designs, then maybe we should start worrying.
Finalwoven
Is it curtains for Finewoven?! (Note: do not make curtains out of Finewoven. It’s not good.)
Last weekend, a rumor claimed “Apple Reportedly Stops Production of FineWoven Accessories”.
Apple introduced Finewoven to much fanfare, proudly stating that it was removing leather from its product offerings. After trying out Finewoven, however, many customers began asking if Apple couldn’t at least kill a few cows, maybe just the ones who were jerks? The cows who drive slowly in the fast lane, take more items than they should into the express checkout, etc.
The rumors of Finewoven’s death, however, were followed up just days later with a claim that Apple did have one more “season” of Finewoven to deliver. It remains to be seen whether this will be a 26-episode U.S. network TV season or a 6-episode British TV season.
More like mini-nOLED, amirite?
This week Apple announced an iPad event for May 7th, with Tim Cook slyly asking people to “Pencil us in”.
Tim, buddy, you know I would love to want to do that, but 7 a.m. Pacific on a Tuesday doesn’t work for me. See, first the dog has to go out, then I have to get some coffee, and I gotta do my Duolingo. Can’t break my streak. You know that. Oh, and Tuesday is trash or recycling. It usually takes me a half an hour just to figure out which. Because I have to wait for the Hendersons to put theirs out first. I’ve asked Todd to get theirs out earlier so I’ll know, but he just stares at me incredulously.
I know you get up at 4 a.m., but what happened to having Apple events at a civilized hour… like 10 a.m.?
And all this to not get mini-OLED? Despite the rumors to date, display analyst Ross Young now says the iPad Air won’t feature a mini-OLED screen after all. Hope you didn’t snap all your other iPads in half already and throw them in the ocean. Partly because that’s an ecological nightmare.
Based on Cook’s coy reference to pencils, we can certainly expect Apple will deliver a new Pencil, thereby allowing us to spend weeks discussing Apple’s weird Pencil lineup again, like we did late last year. You’ve got your Apple Pencil (1st generation), your Apple Pencil (2nd generation) and your Apple Pencil (USB-C). I’ve got my fingers crossed for “Apple Pencil Pro”, if only because that opens the door to one day getting an “Apple Pencil Ultra”. That’s the world I want to live in.
[John Moltz is a Six Colors contributor. You can find him on Mastodon at Mastodon.social/@moltz and he sells items with references you might get on Cotton Bureau.]