By John Moltz

October 18, 2024 2:00 PM PT

This Week in Apple: What a letdown

Apple rains on the AI parade, some executives are leaving the company, and the seventh-generation iPad mini is just sort of mid.

Party pooper

Apple deposited a proverbial Baby Ruth in the proverbial punch bowl of AI this week when it released a study showing how easy it is to confuse these language models posing as some kind of intelligence.

“Apple Study Reveals Critical Flaws in AI’s Logical Reasoning Abilities”

Apple, please, we’re trying to prop up a new technology in order to push people to buy more crap. Get with the program. Gawd.

We found no evidence of formal reasoning in language models. Their behavior is better explained by sophisticated pattern matching—so fragile, in fact, that changing names can alter results by ~10%.

Well, what’s about 10 percent between friends? Besides, I’m sure it’s nothing that turning on a few more nuclear reactors can’t fix.

“Google and Kairos sign nuclear reactor deal with aim to power AI”

“Amazon goes nuclear, to invest more than $500 million to develop small modular reactors”

With Microsoft having already locked up Three Mile Island for its AI aspirations, makes you wonder if anyone’s written a piece yet about how Apple’s behind in the nuclear power race. No, I’m not going to look. I’ll just assume someone has or is working on it right now.

If you’re going to waste a bunch of energy coming up with the wrong answers to things, I guess it’s better to use nuclear power than a coal-fired steam engine or 9 million cans of Sterno. Just seems like maybe the power could be put toward something that actually works right.

No longer a people person

Apple is undergoing another periodic swell in executive departures (possibly related to either the recent larger than usual aurora borealis or the appearance of a comet) (or both). First the company’s long-time head of procurement announced he was leaving; then Dan Riccio, head of the Vision Products Group, said he will finally be emerging from Apple’s underground hardware development lab and smelling the sweet open air again. Be sure to apply a lot of sunscreen, Dan. You’ve been in that basement a long time.

Now, because these things come in threes, Apple’s first Chief People Officer, Carol Surface, is leaving. Possibly she was tired of all the “Sounds like more of a Microsoft person to me!” jokes. Totally understandable. So dumb. Who would make that joke? Apple has thrown its hands up and is just putting Deirdre O’Brien back in the role she had running both retail and people before Surface joined the company.

Apple’s hires from outside the company rarely seem to last that long. I blame the company’s inordinately complicated secret handshake.

A mini update in every sense

Apple announced a new iPad mini this week, shuffling buttons around to accommodate the Pencil Pro, increasing the storage options and bumping the processor just enough to run Apple Intelligence. This update was met with sighs from some but it’s not like Apple has ever given much love to its smaller devices. Jason has thoughts on why the new mini is using an A17 Pro processor that neither confirm nor deny the rumor that Tim Cook was heard to say “You get what you get, don’t get upset.”

This announcement raises the question of whether or not Apple will hold an event this month or simply announce new Macs via press releases. Seems to me with an entirely new form factor for the Mac mini and how much the company loves to talk about AI features it’s not even shipping yet, it has enough reason to hold an event. Either way, rest assured those new Macs are coming.

[John Moltz is a Six Colors contributor. You can find him on Mastodon at Mastodon.social/@moltz and he sells items with references you might get on Cotton Bureau.]