By John Moltz
November 1, 2024 2:16 PM PT
This Week in Apple: Macs for days
The new Macs are here! The new Macs are here! Apple also updated its peripherals. Wow. Then it did a little shopping.
Sweet 16
As was foretold in prophecy, Apple introduced new M4-based Macs this week, starting with iMacs that come in colors so bright that Apple should have issued one of those seizure warnings at the beginning of the video. Your customers simply aren’t used to these parts of the spectrum, Apple.
On Tuesday the company followed up with the All-New Diminutive-Sized Mac mini, which looks not unlike a Mac Studio someone left in the dryer too long. It’s Apple’s fastest, smallest and most easy-to-lose Mac mini ever.
Because these things come in threes, Apple announced new MacBook Pros on Wednesday, rounding out the lineup and making it less weird that its most advanced processor was in the iPad. Say what you want to about AI (god knows I do) but it did give us the gift of a base RAM configuration of 16 GB. Don’t say it never did nothin’ for ya.
And, in a retcon anyone can get behind, even the M2- and M3-based MacBook Airs now start with 16 GB. Well, unless you’re someone who bought a MacBook Air last week because you were certain it wasn’t going to get updated. Also, it’s worth noting that while this change to the timeline did affect almost all of the MacBook Airs, Walmarts are apparently built inside some sort of space/time Faraday cage and exist in their own reality. Their M1 MacBook Airs still ship with just 8 GB of RAM.
I got your update right here
Well, it sure was nothing but good news this week, wasn’t it? Apple nailed it across the board, even updating its Magic peripherals, replacing the Lightning Ports with USB-C.
So, all is well and… Oh, don’t, uh, don’t look at those too closely. They’re great, no need to…
“Apple put the Magic Mouse’s charging port on the bottom again”
OK. Yes. Fine. Apple did not take the opportunity to move the charging port to a less ridiculous spot. Also… also… as long as we’re coming clean on these things, the smaller Magic Keyboard still does not have arrow keys in an inverted-T design.
[30 minutes of pandemonium. The judge repeatedly calls for order, but the gathered crowd is inconsolable. The bailiffs are ordered to clear the courtroom but are swept backwards and into the chambers of the judge as he attempts to flee. The system has failed the people yet again and this time they have had enough.]
Well, not everyone agrees. John Gruber suggests you people don’t deserve a nice bottom-charging mouse.
Putting the port on the belly is putting form over function, but in this case Apple’s designers think the better form is worth the trade-off.
It is truly the most beautiful mouse that I will never buy.
Burning a hole in its pocket
After all that announcing, Apple took some time on Thursday to relax and do some more announcing, revealing its quarterly results. The company had record fourth-quarter, earning $95 billion in revenue.
Then, it did exactly what I do when I get a big payday: go on a buying spree.
“Apple sinks $1.1 billion into Globalstar’s satellite network, takes ownership stake”
This orbital laser platform isn’t going to build itself. Also, the company seems to be betting big on satellite features for iPhone like Emergency SOS.
To top off the week, Apple acquired Pixelmator, makers of the photo editing app of the same name.
There will be no material changes to the Pixelmator Pro, Pixelmator for iOS, and Photomator apps at this time.
“At this time”, meaning 10 AM Friday morning, November 1st 2024.
[John Moltz is a Six Colors contributor. You can find him on Mastodon at Mastodon.social/@moltz and he sells items with references you might get on Cotton Bureau.]