By John Moltz
December 20, 2024 2:00 PM PT
This Week in Apple: Thanks but no thanks
The rumor-mill crystal ball could use some polishing, nobody wants AI, and Apple canceled a new way to take your money? Does that sound right at all?
Outlook hazy
You love your iPad, right? You would never do anything… unnatural to it. Like… folding it, would you? Seems like shenanigans like that would void the warranty.
DSCC also expects an 18.8-inch foldable iPad Pro…
That’s a big iPad. No wonder it needs to be folded. The rumored device is expected in either 2027 or 2028. So probably more like 2029. Or never.
Also, did we say it was an iPad? That may not be right.
Rumors have been unclear on whether the upcoming foldable device will be an iPad or a Mac, but either is feasible depending on what operating system Apple opts to go with.
Used to be when you had rumors of an Apple product they at least knew what the product was. These days, they make the rumors out of nothing. Just like the burgers.
I just imagine Apple working on stuff and going “Is this anything?”
Tim Cook: “Oh, wow. What is this?”
Johny Srouji: “It’s an iPad.”
Tim Cook: …
Johny Srouji: “Or… or a Mac. Um… what do you think it should be?”
Well, at least we know what the iPhone 17 will look like.
“Leakers clash over iPhone 17 camera layout – triangular versus horizontal”
Seriously? Those are very different shapes. Even if you could put them in the same hole.
OK. OK. What do we know?
“Report: Apple designing all new Magic Mouse, fixing charge port placement”
Could our long peripheral nightmare soon be over?
Finally, rumors say new Vision products, both Pro and the non-Pro version which I’m calling “Vision Amateur”, will be coming in 2026. And, get this, both will feature lower prices, not just the Vision Amateur, as Apple broadens its list of parts suppliers. Turns out those economies? They scale. Who knew?
Hard pass on AI
Surprise! No one wants AI.
Yes, it’s a survey run by a site that buys and sells used phones. Which is not always the best place to get reliable information. But it’s probably at least directionally correct. So, why aren’t people excited about AI? Despite Tim Cook’s repeated insistence that he loooves the summarization feature and uses it all the time, not everyone is as enamored.
“Call to ban Apple Intelligence summary feature after Luigi Mangione error”
OK, yes, Apple Intelligence did suggest that the alleged murderer of the CEO of United Healthcare killed himself. But what about all the people it didn’t incorrectly say killed themselves? No one ever mentions them.
At least there are no downsides to AI at all.
“Huge growth in AI usage could cause electricity blackouts in US from next year”
I’m literally getting quotes for solar panels right now. True story.
The services revenue buffet is not endless
The god of services revenue ever hungers, but sometimes even gods must be denied.
Bloomberg: Apple scraps plans to offer iPhone hardware subscription service
According to Bloomberg, Apple would have charged you directly for your iPhone on a monthly basis instead of using a loan issued by a bank. Tim Cook will have to look for other ways to satiate the god he pledged his undying fealty to all those years ago.
While Apple will not be directly servicing those loans, at least it appears it also won’t be directly impacted by tariffs imposed by the incoming administration, according to Deepwater Management.
Make no mistake, increased tariffs are coming for many manufacturers, but Apple and Tesla will be spared high tariffs – Trump doesn’t want Tesla to lose to BYD or Apple to lose to Samsung.
Oh. Yayyy. Turns out sucking up pays off. Thank goodness the system works.
[John Moltz is a Six Colors contributor. You can find him on Mastodon at Mastodon.social/@moltz and he sells items with references you might get on Cotton Bureau.]