By John Moltz
January 3, 2025 2:00 PM PT
This Week in Apple: I’m goin’ to Wendy’s!
The Vision Pro goes limited edition, Mark Gurman gets misquoted, and lunch is on Siri.
Vision Proh no!
Is it curtains for the Vision Pro?! No. But can we at least get some curtains to cover up those eyeballs?
“Apple Vision Pro May Now Be Out of Production”
This shouldn’t be that surprising as we already knew that Apple has made pretty much every Vision Pro it expects to sell before the next version comes out.
But it remains to be seen if Apple is can make the device more appealing than the expensive, heavy, and slightly weird first version. So far the big hardware difference expected is a faster processor so the Vision Pro can run Apple Intelligence — something not many are clamoring for — and play games that don’t exist yet.
Hardware seems to be less of an issue, though, than software and price. Still, some gems continue to roll out from time to time.
“Apple Vision Pro just got a planetarium, and it’s friggin’ awesome”
The mad geniuses at Sandwich continue to be committed to the Vision Pro and have already updated their Theater app for the device, adding Plex streaming as well as a planetarium to pre-existing features like YouTube streaming.
Meanwhile, Wicked director Jon M. Chu said he used a Vision Pro to help edit the film. You know, like you do?
He would then zoom in and “draw” on the screen using his finger to point out potential edits. “Like, ‘hey, this ear looks weird on the goat’ …”
Slow sales figures sparking production cuts are one indicator, but if you know of a better way to point out edits that need to be made to virtual goat ears, then I’d like to hear it.
I thought not.
Misrumored
A minor brouhaha (a kerfuffle, if you will) erupted this week, as it was widely reported that Mark Gurman was suggesting Apple would, in addition to moving the charging port, put voice control in the upcoming revision to the Magic Mouse.
Gurman then sighed, saying: “You know nothing of my work.”
“Gurman: Voice Control for Next Magic Mouse ‘Makes Sense’”
…the rumor making the rounds today is just an incorrect back-and-forth translation of this line from my initial report…
Gurman was apparently just rattling off technologies, not suggesting they’d be squeezed into the diminutive device. And, thus, like Doctor Manhattan, did he leave the Earth for Mars, where he sat quietly to contemplate, far beyond the din of the masses.
OK, so if we can’t fulfill our lifelong dream of talking to mice, what else is on the horizon?
“iPhone 17 Air’s Thickness and Price Range Revealed in New Report”
New details indicate that while phones continue to get larger, they are at least getting thinner. The iPhone 17 Air is now reported to be about 20 percent thinner than the iPhone 16 and 25 percent thinner than the Phone 16 Pro.
For further comparison, that’s 344 percent thinner than the current MacBook Air and an astonishing 900 percent thinner than a PowerBook 5300. Just, you know, to put it in perspective.
Siri, how could you?
Apple’s about to make it rain dollar dollar bills on us, y’all.
“Apple will pay $95 million to settle Siri privacy lawsuit, and you might get a cut”
$95 million! That’s as much revenue as Apple makes in a quarter!
Oh, sorry, I misread Apple’s quarterly results. It makes $95 billion a quarter. So, it’s as much as the company makes in two hours. Yeah, they’re not even going to feel that. Dang.
Well, still. At least we aggrieved Apple customers are getting something.
Apple’s settlement will pay users up to $20 per Siri device impacted
Awww, yeah! Look out, Wendy’s! Ya boi coming for a 20-piece Saucy Nuggs Combo! And he’s gettin’ $2.21 back!
Unless there’s tax.
They may be able to take our privacy, but they’ll never take our Saucy Nuggs.
[John Moltz is a Six Colors contributor. You can find him on Mastodon at Mastodon.social/@moltz and he sells items with references you might get on Cotton Bureau.]