The Back Page: That’s why they call it money

It’s time again for your favorite part of the quarter: financial results!¹

Yes, Apple is once again poised to report how much cash it will be pouring into the Scrooge McDuck vault concealed under Apple Park’s Rainbow Stage². Fun fact: it’s the only company that reports its quarterly earnings in cubic feet.

While I may not be a Financial Wizard™, I have been following these results for almost two decades, so I’m going to bring some insight to bear on what to look for as the company, in the words of Tim Cook, “makes it rain.” Here are five key takeaways to keep your eyes on.

It’s tariffic: Everybody’s going to want to know what Cook and company are doing to prepare for the administration’s on-again/off-again/on-again/we-were-on-a-break tariffs. It’s hard to prepare with that kind of volatility, so I expect the company to respond in the only logical fashion: by consulting our country’s most accurate and trustworthy forecaster.…