It’s AirTags to the rescue as the little devices could get a standard and are endorsed by law enforcement. Meanwhile, Apple employees are making some wild demands and the company manages to pull off an OK quarter.
An AirTag and release program
Apple and Google have announced they will be working together to make all wireless tracking devices less stalker-y.
“Apple to Expand AirTag-Like Unwanted Tracking Alerts to Other Item Trackers in Future iOS Version”
As part of this initiative, the companies plan to expand AirTag-like unwanted tracking alerts to third-party item trackers in future versions of iOS and Android.
That is, of course, a good thing—even if it is like closing the barn door after all the stalkers are out.
It’s not really a barn, per se. It’s more of an institution.
AirTags were kind of having a moment this week. The New York Police Department likes AirTags so much that it’s recommending people put them in their cars so officers can track down the vehicles if they get stolen. To that end, the Department gave away 500 of the little buggers and said:
We’ll use our drones, our StarChase technology & good old fashion police work to safely recover your stolen car.
With all that technology, it’s not surprising gumshoeing gets third billing. Case in point:
“AirTag credited with helping investigators locate $1.1M in cash stolen from armored truck”
Someday maybe you’ll just be able to tell a drone where your stolen thing is and it’ll bring it back for you. I’m OK with that, as long as it’s not an ED-209.
Here’s a tip, don’t smoke
Somewhere this week, a small smile came over the face of Herb Cohen, though he did not know why.
Turns out it was thanks to the clever negotiation tactics of the newly-minted union at Apple’s Towson, MD store.
“Apple’s Unionized Store Workers Seek Tips and Higher Holiday Pay”
Workers at Apple Inc.’s unionized store in Maryland are asking for higher pay and additional time off…
Yeah! You git yourself some, union workers! You deserve it! This is what unionization is all about. Capitalism will suck everything in its path dry of its life force given the chance. Go, union!
…along with changes that could affect the company’s tightly controlled retail experience, such as letting customers tip employees.
Oh, hell, no.
What, I’m gonna have to stop and get a wad of one dollar bills before I hit the Apple Store to get my kid’s iPhone screen replaced for the second time in six months? I have to go through that very serious eye contact and “Thank you so much” dance I learned from my dad, like when I pass the valet five bucks for not joyriding in our Subaru Outback on the way over from the parking garage?
No, no, no, no.
OK, before we lose our collective stuff about this, let’s recognize that it’s clearly a non-starter. There’s no way Apple is going to agree to this and the union knows it. And because the union knows it, there’s no way this is a serious bargaining point. It’s in there to give up immediately and then say “Look, we’re meeting you half way. We gave up tips.”
In fact, that’s a tip for negotiating. Always ask for something you don’t really care about and can easily give up. Just make sure you don’t start giggling before you do.
Tim takes the cake
Apple reported quarterly results this week. Yes, again. I know, it’s like it happens every quarter, right?
After a lot of hand-wringing about the Mac’s performance over the last few months, it turned out the company didn’t do all that poorly. OK, yes, revenue was down slightly from the same quarter the previous year, but that was a record second quarter for the company. In fact, the news was so aggressively OK that Tim Cook was positively jubilant.
“Tim Cook Says Apple Still Not Considering ‘Mass Layoffs’”
Congratulations, Apple employees! This is, of course, in sharp contrast to the other tech companies willfully riding the staffing rollercoaster again and again, adding people carelessly when times are good, and then cutting them with abandon when times are lean.
That said, Apple has recently been accused of doing de facto layoffs by firing people for violating disputed policies and then not re-filling the positions. This is how you can have your layoff cake and eat it, too, without anyone knowing you even had the layoff cake in the first place.
The only evidence is the thin veneer of icing on Tim Cook’s lips as he says “This is Tim.”
[John Moltz is a Six Colors contributor. You can find him on Mastodon at Mastodon.social/@moltz and he sells items with references you might get on Cotton Bureau.]
